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george carlin politicians transcript

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Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? I always thought it was kind of funny and someone out of character for a POLITICIAN to go out of his way to point out the low level of American intelligence (LAUGHS), when indeed his very job depends upon it. But in war times they quickly become, our brave young fighting men and women stationed half way around the world in places whose name's they(POLITICIANS) can't pronounce, wandering if they will ever see their loved ones again. They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. [3], Carlin was equally hard on politics as he was on religion. He spoke about his book "Brain Droppings" and answered questions submitted by the audience. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. "I don't believe anything the government tells me." - George Carlin 02. They don't fall out of the sky. They should be earned. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. I still cant find a flaw in it, or anything even exaggerated. It's like they're part of some kind of digital echo chamber. hb```b``na` cc`ahd`phQD"#. -{- f1^u0`cp@&CUoM;v> It's like a highlight reel of their fake lives. endobj endobj Fuck em. And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? 0000015335 00000 n But, listen to Georges delivery in the video and it comes across much more as stand-up humor. Retweets do count. This is the kind of shit youd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. You know, say, boy, he really . The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. If you want to make a difference in the world, if you want to connect with people in a meaningful way, put down the phone, step away from the computer, and go have a real conversation with someone. The only part I would take with a block of salt is the last in which he explains why he doesnt vote. The planet has been here four and a half billion years. stream I dont vote. But wheres the logic in that? Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. And theyre elected by American citizens. 0000053233 00000 n Friends? People like to twist that around. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, Use the actual ChatGPT bot (not GPT-3 models) for all your conversational needs, Try out the powerful GPT-3 bot (no jailbreaks required for this one), Generate unique and stunning images using our AI art bot, Chat with the BING Chat bot and see what it can come up with (new and improved! He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. You and I are not in the big club. Yeah, the public sucks! . Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me. Well where do people think these politicians come from? Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things, the flag, the Bible and children. And term-limits aint going to do you any good. Forget the politicians. The only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im gunna have a little something to show for it, folks.. A person who routinely spends his days torturing the language complains; POLITICIAN:THEY TWISTED MY WORDS. If you have selfish, ignorant citizensif you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gunna get selfish, ignorant leaders. e d u / e t d / 4 7 1)/Rect[72.0 131.7406 279.0264 143.4594]/StructParent 6/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. Nothing wrong with the planet. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? Every time. 4 Mar. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. Two reasons. That's a friend. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. POLITICIAN:THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, NO ONE HAS PROVEN ANYTHING EVENTUALLY I'LL BE EXONERATED. This is the best we can do folks. Oh, and I cant finish without recommending the routine Carlin calls his Incomplete List of Impolite Words. Well, if you ask me, it's more like the land of the self-obsessed and the home of the vain. 183 21 And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. Good honest hard-working people; white collar, blue collar it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Trump Follower? But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. We dont have people like that in this country. In particular it's fun to listen to Washington talk. I have a problem with the Ten Commandments. He is mostly non-political except for his involvement with the environmental organization, Greenpeace. Were fucked. I'M NOT SURE; I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET (LAUGHS). Everybodys at the mall scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking out his credit card out of a fannie-pack, and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them. 0000001936 00000 n ', Illustrator of the Year, British Book Awards - 2018, Tina Fey: 'Only in comedy is an obedient white girl from the suburbs a diversity candidate', Kennedy Center Mark Twain Award - 2010, Sacha Baron Cohen: 'Just think what Goebbels might have done with Facebook', Anti Defamation League Leadership Award - 2019, Greta Thunberg: 'How dare you', UN Climate Action Summit - 2019, Charlie Munger: 'The Psychology of Human Misjudgment', Harvard University - 1995, Lawrence O'Donnell: 'The original sin of this country is that we invaders shot and murdered our way across the land killing every Native American that we could', The Last Word, 'Dakota' - 2016. Speakola is a labour of love and Id be very grateful if you would share, tweet or like it. Then you're just what they're looking for. 0000002803 00000 n It goes WAY beyond his famous Seven Words You Cant Say on Television (also classic). I think what we really need more of is ritual suicide, you know. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. Theres a reason for this, theres a reason education SUCKS, and its the same reason it will never, ever, EVER be fixed. Whenever the issue of term limits comes up, I always tell people the only term limits I'm interested in would be to limit some of the terms used by politicians. [/wptabs]. It's like we're all living in a never-ending episode of MTV Cribs. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. He discusses political stance and also societal beliefs on the environment, and the Earth's resilience towards bombardment by pollution. TOUGH DECISIONS like: POLITICIAN (PLANNING):HOW MUCH SOFT MONEY CAN I EXPECT TO COLLECT IN EXCHANGE FOR MY CORE VALUES? Most of the images you will find here are available for license or purchase. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. (LAUGHS). George Carlin speech at the National Press Club (May 13, 1999) "George Carlin delivered a humorous speech in which he ma Show more Show more George Carlin on Being Arrested for. I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET. I'm getting tired of that shit. He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics; one newspaper called Carlin "the dean of counterculture comedians". Suddenly we're down to four. If it's a really serious matter, they make a JUDGMENT: POLITICIAN: I HAVEN'T MADE A JUDGMENT ON THAT. They say, Well, if you dont vote you have no right to complain. But wheres the logic in that? He pretty much smashed the nail squarely on the head. CHALLENGES! They own and control the corporations. The career of comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962.He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or . Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. Ive read it dozens of times. https://ad.style/. Nobody cares. Its a big club, and you aint in it! And they're all looking for that instant gratification of likes and followers, like it's some kind of digital high-five. endobj You know what they want? Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. It's like a bunch of robots pretending to be human. I dont always agree with everything he says, but I always listen. It has to be the WHOLE THING. Before his death in June 2008, comedian George Carlin spent 10 years working on a memoir, Last Words, with his longtime friend Tony Hendra. Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin's routine about social media: "Social media. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) You know, in the old days, if you wanted to share your opinion with someone, you had to look them in the eye and say it to their face. Michael Cooney was a speechwriter for @, George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999. http://www.ravendevelopers.com/blog/2013/0 Bernie Sanders: 'So the next time you hear me attacked as a socialist, remember this', Georgetown University - 2015, Jimmy Carter: 'The threat is nearly invisible in ordinary ways. We don't need that many. You have no choice! Its a big club, and. xWnF}WDh%&^6F%&T{84e[A0@-3wUr-*l:, XF{HT+T0?LL q8"y1yY0LV"vQ|8:GwPBr,&]Qt7oz5n But I'm sure they will still remove this. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? 0000080920 00000 n And not that you can help it, I mean the problem is really with the people you cover. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. They don't fall out of the sky. If you can afford a donation, it will help Speakola survive and prosper. everybody complains about politicians. (LAUGHS). Carlin, for 40-years, was one of the greatest comedians ever. endobj THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. So self-important. He was raised an Irish Catholic, even an alter boy, and attended a Catholic school until the age of 15, when he dropped out of school.[1]. But here's the thing: you don't need social media to be happy. George Carlins daughter, @kelly_carlin, on her first radio show with guest Paul Provenza, talking about this routine. That's because now he's feeling the heat and so as time passes and more evidence comes in he suddenly changes directions and tells us: POLITICIAN:WERE TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS! They want obedient workers. But that would be much too direct! User Clip: Carlin Mocks Politicians' Language. Difference. And if we had a list like that, I wouldn't mind that brilliant judge in Alabama displaying it prominently in the courthouse wall. Yeah, let's share our every thought and feeling with the entire world, because that's what we need, more information. Their own habitat. (LAUGHS) And we know this must be true because the next thing we hear from him is: POLITICIAN:I JUST WANNA PUT THIS THING BEHIND ME AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. everybody complains about politicians. And don't get me started on the selfies. D} 8 &L$` %pPyZnC*ss9Qm^-u~Y]5;D- p?Ds+A$%C"CXU@5M`mO=YK6l[f0xc5j D6C"NMUCDV#[7q&>O!WsDm~ |!=?H^wM $M:w085uk8OaP;,p|Jp@H0 O#NE\f&KXl1DHq0,>b4A !oPfcmxe5)l*1x,g FC[A9u71-tILKA n_B--jxQjB,=oINnh;> R# }bO 7?|`M S(5OdC0#K1EH-Llj[~y' c7ozi=w,PP&e~g$2! *@@Gh!'[G F.r *N-@LoX15XvGA4#Wb_"$,%%8@2% And then, maybe, put down your phone and go have an actual conversation with someone. You have OWNERS! 0000015151 00000 n They don't get any real human contact. They want obedient workers. Religion. That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun? Certainly! And we've all bought into it. But, he is wrong here. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. Use section headers above different song parts like [Verse], [Chorus], etc. George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. https://www.scripts.com/writer/george_carlin/6024. People post pictures of themselves and their lives, trying to create a narrative that they're happy, successful, and popular. BRAND: That's comedian George. They own all the important land. So, that I can continue my work in Government. They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. 0000000716 00000 n OR: I WAS QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT. I dont vote. A friend is someone you can count on. Maher is a liberal who has endorsed at least the last two Democratic presidential candidates. And term limits aint gunna do ya any good. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people and they get into office and screw everything up, well, you are responsible for what they have done. I know, they say, they say: well if you dont vote you have no right to complain. [wptabtitle]Blog[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][/wptabcontent] As I say, they're my work, they're my . "We're so self-important. <>stream Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. Marc Allan: Good, thanks for calling. Thank you. endobj So I know that a little later on this year, youre going to have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. Two reasons. I dont vote. The table is tilted folks. Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). I don't words that conceal reality. startxref In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments: THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF! George Carlin: How you doing? George Carlin returns to the stage in Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theater in New York City for HBO. Because if it is really just the fault of the politicians then where are all the other bright people of conscience? You, and I, are not in the big club. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." Something is wrong here. Everybody complains about politicians. You crowned us', by Toni Morrison - 1988, for Michael Gordon: '13 days ago my Dads big, beautiful, generous heart suddenly stopped beating', by Scott and Sarah Gordon - 2018, Tara Westover: 'Your avatar isn't real, it isn't terribly far from a lie', The Un-Instagrammable Self, Northeastern University - 2019, Tim Minchin: 'Being an artist requires massive reserves of self-belief', WAAPA - 2019, Atul Gawande: 'Curiosity and What Equality Really Means', UCLA Medical School - 2018, Abby Wambach: 'We are the wolves', Barnard College - 2018, Eric Idle: 'America is 300 million people all walking in the same direction, singing 'I Did It My Way'', Whitman College - 2013, Shirley Chisholm: ;America has gone to sleep', Greenfield High School - 1983, Joe Marler: 'Get back on the horse', Harlequins v Bath pre game interview - 2019, Ray Lewis : 'The greatest pain of my life is the reason I'm standing here today', 52 Cards -, Mel Jones: 'If she was Bradman on the field, she was definitely Keith Miller off the field', Betty Wilson's induction into Australian Cricket Hall of Fame - 2017, Jeff Thomson: 'Its all those people that help you as kids', Hall of Fame - 2016, Dan Angelucci: 'The Best (Best Man) Speech of all time', for Don and Katherine - 2019, Hallerman Sisters: 'Oh sister now we have to let you gooooo!' We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet? Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. THINGS ARE MOVING FASTER NOW, MISTAKES WERE MADE. The table has tilted folks. Here it is: Why are there ten? This is the best we can do, folks. You can't have an opinion anymore without being labeled as something. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? You know, that thing that's supposed to make us more connected and informed, but really just turns us into a bunch of self-obsessed, attention-seeking, validation-craving zombies. Moses could have carried them down the hill in his pocket. His parents split up when he was an infant because his . Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. To learn more, check out our transcription guide or visit our transcribers forum, Comedian George Carlins take on The Ten Commandments. Maybe two hundred thousand? As long he included one additional commandment: Genius is the ultimate source of music knowledge, created by scholars like you who share facts and insight about the songs and artists they love. George Carlin: In football, the object is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by . THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. [5] And another one: War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. <> In fact at this point he might even say: POLITICIAN:I'M WILLING TO TRUST IN THE FAIRNESS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. George Carlin does not need my platitudes, but I will still proffer them. POLITICIAN:I ADVISED HIM THAT I HAD MADE A JUDGMENT. Web. Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing - English Transcript. Well, we know what they want. But, the Incomplete List highlights his exceptional understanding of, love for, and talent with language, sound, and rythmn. . It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. We dont have people like that in this country. GEORGE CARLIN: I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. Now, in the interest of logicsomething religion has a really hard time withI'm going to skip around the list a little bit: THOU SHALT NOT STEAL. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. And it's not just that social media is a distraction from real life, it's also a way of creating a false sense of connection. [masturbation gestures] It doesnt mean a fucking thing. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. (LAUGHS), so instead they ADDRESS the PROBLEM (LAUGHS). Youre just going to wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. this is my tribute and way of promoting George Carlin's work. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters.

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