In another life. He struggled to raise a hand, and slowly he twirled his index finger in circles at the side of his head. I don't want to know them. [Nightmare? "Would you like for him to send a photo?". Do something Akaashi closed his mouth and swallowed. ", "I'm" Kenma's lips puckered in thought. He could sense the heavy amount of reluctance in each movement that Bokuto's hand carried out. The answer came so much more quickly than Kuroo thought it would. Just as those words left Akaashi's mouth, the clouds outside parted, allowing the setting sun's orange light to flood into the room. by | Jun 30, 2022 | niebaum coppola family select | brian allen rams high school | Jun 30, 2022 | niebaum coppola family select | brian allen rams high school We're friends." Here we are. "Yeah, I'm-," He turned his head, "Is there someone in there?" He looked up, gazed at Akaashi past his bleached blonde bangs, and straightened his back in the slightest way possible. He spoke just loudly enough for Bokuto to hear him. His head was down and his fingers moved swiftly over the buttons on the gaming device that he held in his hands. "I'd dream that I messed up during a spike, and then I'd wake up fuming, and would constantly tell myself that I was the best.". That's how much he supposedly weighs now? His laughter died down along with Akaashi's. I was so weak, and it'd gotten to the point where I could barely breath. Not in front of Bokuto. What was he to do? He turned his head to the side, towards Bokuto's. Bokuto looked exhausted beyond belief, yet there he stood, excited to make his way to the gymnasium. He swore without a filter. Akaashi could still feel the sensation of his wild white and black hair brushing against his cheek whenever he moved, and the warmth that came from him as he held him close. It was moments like these that made Akaashi realize just how much of an innocent soul Bokuto really was. He wanted for him to spike it at least once lest Bokuto threw a self hate-induced panic attack. Akaashi stopped in his tracks, in front of Bokuto's room. It took every fiber of his being to keep his voice from trembling. His quiet chuckle was louder than Bokuto's wholehearted laugh. And I d-don't want you to See it all h-happen.". "Close your eyes for the time being." An exhausted breath left him, and Akaashi finally fell asleep. Take a seat." Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too. He was thinner than before, a large flannel shirt fitting him loosely. He figured he would tell his parents that the people in the hospital were too occupied with everything else to tend to him. Bokuto's eyes stared forward with an engrossed gaze, his yellow hues taking a mental picture of what he probably would never see again. Partly be-cause I was too afraid to read up on it. "By sneaking out! But that still doesn't make me a better person. He didn't care, nor did he think he would care in the near future. Why had the sickly one taken a sudden liking to him? Akaashi looked down the hall. He turned his head to get a clear look at Bokuto's face, but instantly wished he hadn't. Hang in there, alright? Press J to jump to the feed. Heavy raindrops pelted against the window as Bokuto's frantic sounds filled the room. He kept his weary yellow eyes on Akaashi, waiting for him to nod. i'm in spain but the s is silent. In another life. Bokuto would wince and snap back to reality the way someone would when they dreamt they were falling. You're probably just not an emotional person, and that's ok. He reached a hand out and took Bokuto's hand in his own. He drags you back in. Very happy to have met you. I'm usually around Kuroo, so" He shrugged with little energy. Kuroo asked with a hushed tone. I'll see you soon.]. Trying so hard to fit in that small amount of sleep that would get him through the next day, and Akaashi wanted to help. Akaashi felt that his words were a bit bitter, but he had no other way of telling Bokuto the truth. "Don't talk like you're not one". Akaashi sighed. Kuroo's the bigger one. The sound of Bokuto's laughter caused Akaashi to turn his head back to him. to watch kuroo slowly die was a kind of pain i didn't know existed. He wanted healthy friends that he could talk to on a regular basis, not one sick friend who he'd have to invest personal and emotional time into. i dont normally include fanfics but i read this one months ago and every time i remember it, i sob uncontrollably so i felt like it deserved a place on my profile, T-T. Is it weird to say that this is my comfort fic?? He thought the video had gone by too quickly, but it had actually lasted a little under thirty seconds. Sorry.]. A gust of icy wind charged its way into the room in an instant, draining the warmth from everything it touched. He rubbed his hands together weakly and tilted his head to the side. He was extremely pale, and somehow thinner than before, but he kept that same smile on his face. He couldn't find his pulse. He climbed into bed and folded one leg, pulling over his laptop to start it up. 299K 5.7K 29.5K. Bokuto swatted Akaashi's hands away. He already knew. Kuroo's voice was reserved and reluctant. But for what it's worth, my name is Bokuto.". [Yeah! He placed one hand on the windowsill and squeezed, his knuckles going white. I don't think I've ever heard you laugh, or seen you smile for that matter. hasjhjaa currently crying. His breathing was heavy, his heart rate quicker than usual; Akaashi could feel his heart pounding in his throat, making it difficult to swallow. Out in the dead of night stood Bokuto, with the burgundy knit scarf around his neck, a jacket, jeans, and slippers. my theory is that if akaashi did die in the end because of a broken heart, then that "dream" he had where bokuto was healthy is probably real. WE HAVE TO PLAY TOGETHER.]. "I know." ", "I am. They both seemed to be the same height, but Akaashi couldn't help but realize that Bokuto looked just a bit smaller. He'd realized just how rude that was, falling asleep so easily in front of a person who's biggest struggle was just that. He couldn't bring himself to read over the last four words of the text again and ultimately shut off his phone. It was so weak and feeble, it could barely be heard, but it was there, and Akaashi could hear it, so that was enough for Bokuto. Akaashi would answer his questions coldly, with little to no emotion, but Bokuto would cherish these answers and retort with excitement in his tone. by postingAO3stories. His mind wouldn't allow him to. Are you alright?". Has he ever done anything bad? Despite this, Bokuto was still close enough for their arms to touch. "I understand. Akaashi muttered. Lying next to Akaashi, a ghostly pale Bokuto smiled. "Do you think you can toss to me?". It was one of those "White days", as Bokuto liked to call them, so he paid much more attention to the world beyond the glass than he did to his own confined life in the hospital. But no matter how much he worried for him, Akaashi continued on their way to the window at a slow and steady pace until they finally made it. Loud, though.". So when they say they found each other, I think it means that Bokuto found Akaashi even after he died, and Akaashi knew it was really Bokuto in his dream, so he found Bokuto. Akaashi set his phone down and leaned back slowly, resting the back of his head against his pillow. He held an air around him as if he were having a normal conversation about the weather. Akaashi forced a smile. He felt his heart rate accelerate, and his throat tightened as his vision blurred. It took some time, but he finally answered. Unconsciously, his hand grasped Akaashi's own, and he dragged it down with his lack of strength, causing both of them to startle. To not be able to sleep?". "I see" Akaashi nodded once. Akaashi and Bokuto carried a sort of unspoken communication with each other. For example, I've actually never cried over a manga/anime/book because that's just how I am, but I still say that I cried because that's how I felt at the time even though I didn't literally and physically cry. Bokuto's words haunted him, and they repeated themselves over and over in his mind. But as he thought of it, as he narrowed down the true meanings of both phrases, he ultimately could not decide which of the two were more horrifying. His hands quivered as he dug his nails into his knuckles. Bokuto's eyes did the familiar light up thing as he bounded into Akaashi's home. "It's nice to meet you, Kozume. Akaashi nodded once, and that was all that Bokuto needed to hear before he ran off to retrieve the ball. Furrowing his brow, Akaashi stared at his phone screen and lay his head down sideways. But even so, Bokuto still suffered from trembling spells, and they would come in small, short bursts and last only several seconds before his body became too weak to keep it up. His back was facing the door, and Bokuto seemed to have all of his attention on him. Akaashi sat cross legged in the seat adjacent to Bokuto's bed. Work Search: To this, Bokuto's arm fell and rested lightly on his stomach. this is seriously the most depressing thing in the world. ", Once Akaashi realized what Kuroo was talking about, he instantly felt his spirits fall. Bokuto blinked slowly. ], [Are you calming down? Akaashi remained in place with the thought in mind that Bokuto would respect his personal space and sit a foot or two away from him, but to his apparent surprise, Bokuto leaned his head on Akaashi's shoulder and slipped an arm around him. He could still see Bokuto's hand, and it had frozen in place. It was difficult, however, as each time he tried to drift off to sleep, that unnerving fear of having the same dream would jerk him back awake. He found it strange, how Bokuto was the one . "What is it? But in the end, I couldn't move. Pursing his lips into a thin line, Akaashi looked down and noticed that Kenma had laced his fingers together. He wanted to know if it was real or not. He was getting frustrated. ", "Don't think so. "Just breathe with me.". Kuroo made a grunting noise and had nothing more to say on the subject. A sob wretched its way out from Akaashi's throat. When he'd finally found him, those shining eyes of his lit up just a little more than usual. He looked at the message Bokuto had sent him the night before. He had to force himself to say the mere four words. It was then that Bokuto's eyes blinked in realization, and slowly but surely, he moved his lips to answer. He paused. He didn't wait for Kuroo to respond and glanced into Bokuto's room. pathfinder: kingmaker hour of rage challenge armag . He touched at it lightly, twirled it shakily between his fingers, and studied it, but he never ate it. One of the voices belonged to Bokuto. It was a dreary place for him, a place he was not fond of, but a place he was obligated to visit. Unknown to Bokuto, he watched him quietly through almost closed eyelids, his thick lashes being enough to hide the fact that he was still awake. Bokuto's automatic reaction to the warmth was to curl his fingers around Akaashi's grasp. To the garden out in the back.". He pulled a mock cool expression, but this was cut short as someone else spoke up. The movie was well over two hours in, nearing its end, and Bokuto lay on his side, curled up and clutching the blanket with what little strength he had left. "Of course I don't. He placed a hand on his broad back and rubbed gently, hoping to comfort him and to be the stronger of the two. He shook his head again, stronger this time. You like volleyball too?! He stared at him intently and watched every move he made, to the point where this had captured Akaashi's attention. "You've been shivering. Kuroo started down the hall, Bokuto trailing after him. ], [I know! The pain seared itself into his soul, hindering him, rendering him speechless to a point where he no longer knew what words were. Lying on his back, he stared at the ceiling. He couldn't look at his face. It wasn't like Bokuto to question what he said in such a straightforward fashion. I've just got something to take care of, but I'll be sure to visit you tomorrow.". "Why did you stop so suddenly? At times, Akaashi would look through the conversations that he'd shared with him. He exhaled through his nose and entered the hospital, greeted the woman at the front desk (who now knew him by name), and removed the scarf from around his neck. Bokuto flinched hard enough to make the bed shake. He did not give Akaashi time to voice his guess as he then moved his finger to point at his eye, then finally at Akaashi. The taller, dark haired male gestured to them. "It isn't." His lips quivered before he could form his words. ", "Well, I brought it up, just as a suggestion, but then he got really excited." "It doesn't matter if you've never met Bokuto before, or if you haven't seen him in ten days, or ten weeks, or ten months, or ten years. Strange. lamar county tx property search 2 via de boleto Akaashi relaxed then, keeping the sleeping act alive. As much as he didn't want to believe it, Akaashi wanted so badly to help. He hung his head and tried to keep his crying controlled in the best way possible, but this proved to be very difficult as sobs broke out of him, causing his entire being to shake. He made his way up the same path, walking swiftly and without pause. Bokuto captured it all, and in no time, he found himself laughing too. ok look. Akaashi felt his chest rise. Akaashi sighed and lazily dragged his finger along the d-pad. Akaashi shared a bench with Kenma. Here too" His voice was weaker than before, if possible. What was he to say? The hand that supported his weight against the windowsill trembled without pause, and his other remained outside, shaking in the cold dead of night. DID is usually caused by past trauma. The smile on Bokuto's lips grew just a little more, signifying that he'd answered yes to Akaashi's question. There was something strange about the excitement in his tone. He stared up at the ceiling and sighed. Such a task as easy as swallowing was now a problem for Bokuto, too, and after many failed attempts at keeping his food down, or getting it to go down in the first place, the nurses found it would be best if Bokuto received nourishment the only other way possible, and that was through a tube. There was no hiding it. Frail, shaking fingers pushed through his own black and white hair in an attempt to calm himself down, but another thunder clap sounded, louder that time. "I'm sorry. Bokuto stared down at the white clump of melting ice, and with one finger, he pressed against it to watch it fall apart. "Yeah." Akaashi stared at Bokuto, opened his mouth to say something, but found that he couldn't form even one simple word. "What was the dream about?". "You seem a bit anxious." He wore a confused expression, wondering just what the other had meant by that word. It was soft. "Goodbye.". Akaashi doubted that he'd ever have Bokuto over again, so hearing him say 'I'll have to watch it again,' didn't sit too well with him. I can.. B-arely speak. I've got time.]. He then turned his attention to Akaashi. My last memory of Bokuto will not be of him sharply dressed, pale, stiff, and stuffed in a casket, surrounded by a countless amount of people who did not care for him at all until the day they heard about his death. A shiver racked Akaashi, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand. He was trying everything he could to psych himself into doing at least something to let Bokuto know that he was there for him. "Keep doing what you're doing." "Ninety-seven pounds, right? Bokuto stuck his head out of the window slightly and kept it there as the snowflakes fell all around him. On that one hand, three fingers stuck out. He turned to look at Akaashi. Emerald eyes searched Bokuto's own for an honest answer. You always do.". His frustration was unmasked. Akaashi didn't know why he had this effect on him, but he did, and that was all that mattered to him. Bokuto had always been struggling to keep a positive front, but inside, he was falling apart all along. "It's just how I am. Again, he felt the light tapping against his arm. The black haired male bounced the ball again and walked over to position. Bokuto replied, lifting his head. He was grinning. Akaashi's tone was monotonous, but Kuroo didn't fail to detect the venom that lined each word prior to his last sentence. Bokuto was such a strange one. Surely enough, snow was falling, and in chunks too, but this did not grasp Bokuto's attention. With what little strength he had left, Bokuto beamed. "Well alright Koutarou, why do you like Cloud Atlas so much?" "Likewise.". Bokuto tightened his grasp in that automatic way he always did. From his peripheral, Akaashi could see their hand reaching out to him. It had been so long since he'd heard something so loud. There was only blackness. He turned around. Bokuto no longer smelled like a hospital. The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write. You don't look like shit." "It's not like I would've made any noise," Bokuto all but shouted, following after him. Kuroo." Bokuto had nothing more to say after that. But he wasn't, then." Bokuto followed briskly. I was the only one willing to give it to him." It wasn't until he watched Kuroo's form double over in his peripheral that Akaashi did glance in his direction, and when he did, he was greeted with a quietly sobbing Kuroo, his face having been buried in the palms of his hands. If you watched Haikyuu, and anime, I would definitely recommend this ebook. Of all the things that Bokuto found most endearing of the movie, Akaashi never thought it would be that. Though is was delayed, Akaashi moved on instinct and sat near Kuroo. "You don't have to put that." Another laugh. Akaashi had nothing else to say. Akaashi knew this. Akaashi never knew that Bokuto was one to suddenly sulk on a dime. Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a mental health condition. 2) After Akaashi fell asleep, he somehow transported to an alternate universe where Bokuto is alive. This time, Bokuto directed his attention to Akaashi. He kept his head down and played the fool, pretending he didn't see Akaashi. Akaashi spoke in a calm, slow voice. This one.". Getting into the groove, Akaashi follows his routine of preparing for school. This did not faze him, however, as Bokuto only closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, allowing the burn of the winter air to fill his lungs. "I'm Holding it now.". Hesitant fingers that ghosted over Akaashi's forehead in order to push a loose strand of hair away. The day was exceptionally cold, but Akaashi was glad to know that the hospital's room provided enough heat to keep Bokuto from freezing over. Is he here?". Akaashi's eyebrows knit together. Akaashi drew in a breath, but found that he couldn't say anything. Perplexed, Akaashi directed his full attention to Bokuto. Feeling that it would be rude to interrupt Bokuto's conversation with whoever the other person was, Akaashi strode over to the seats and sat one chair away from the gaming stranger. i'm internally SOBBING. Please play on the highest quality possibleToday, February 3, Bokuto Koutarou's death anniversary.This edit is just based on the fanfic, so don't worry, Boku. His head was cocked back as he surveyed the gym. He made it home without so much as a hello to his parents who sat in the living room. "No. Thin lips pressed into an even thinner line. so this is basically a bokuaka au where bokuto and akaashi meet at a hospital and bokuto has this disease which they haven't found a cure for yet. I'm taking you back." They meet, and they cherish their memories until Bokuto dies. Someone with DID has multiple, distinct personalities. The page loaded. Often times, however, Akaashi would disagree with his parents, unhappy with the suggestions they'd given him. Bokuto's arm unconsciously squeezed Akaashi closer to his side. Looking away slowly, Akaashi watched as Bokuto and Kuroo reappeared in the distance. Akaashi pointed down the road. "They used to play volleyball together. Bokuto smiled wide to those words. He opened his notes application and held the device in front of Bokuto. "Akaashi? He remained in place silently. ", "It passed." "Yes.". Not after this. "Why not? Bokuto breathed in deeply, the sound filling the small space around them. Akaashi went straight into the reading. I mean, will they let you out of the hospital? Akaashi closed his eyes and heaved out a sigh, feeling more and more hopeless with each passing second. He turned the chair so that he was now facing Bokuto from the front. Akaashi didn't want to bring up the fact that Bokuto probably would no longer possess the ability to walk by the time any snow did get a chance to fall, so he kept his mouth shut. Tried so hard to keep himself together, but he knew he was too weak to pull such a bluff. When it falls, I want to go out and stand in it.". Akaashi paused and gripped the strap of his bag. "Please toss to me again!" I've seen enough." He found it strange, how Bokuto was the one walking around when he was the sick one out of the lot. Akaashi's eyes widened slightly, and his eyebrows knit together in surprise. Show him a movie or play a game with him that would result in him to calm down quickly. His head eased into his pillow, and to his surprise, within a matter of minutes, he could feel himself slipping. His voice was full of excitement as he proceeded to enter the name for his new contact. He gripped his phone in his hand and took in a deep breath, filling his lungs with all the air that he could before he exhaled through his nostrils. The air around Akaashi thickened, and suddenly he found it difficult to breathe. "That's Fine with me." But ultimately, they would urge him to carry out the task that had been pushed on him, and one way or another, he'd do it. "" Bokuto looked up to stare out the window again. Akaashi pursed his lips and nodded once. He was shocked. Imagine their faces when they notice I'm not even in my room." Akaashi didn't even have to see his face to know that Bokuto was beaming. Watching as Bokuto ran forward, Akaashi set the ball perfectly. "Kuroo?" "No you haven't. "I can barely keep my eyes open by day, and can barely keep them closed by night." "Well then, if you had a second chance" Akaashi hesitated. Once Bokuto noticed this, he turned his head and slowly rolled away. He inhaled audibly, and Akaashi could hear a scratching sound. Guilt bubbled up within Akaashi's chest. He tried to hide his grin with his hand, but it was still visible from the gaps between his fingers. Akaashi glanced in the direction of where Bokuto was staring. Obeying with hesitance, Bokuto shifted towards Akaashi and lay against him, fitting into the curve of his arm. He tossed the navy blue one to Bokuto, remembering how fond he was of it the last time he'd come over. In no time, Akaashi is ready and prepared for school. He was happy where he was. It was an awful thing to do, but Akaashi knew full well that none of it was intentional on Bokuto's part. "Drowning in something black, sort of like tar. "Let's go then. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, Bokuto rubbed the back of his neck. Minutes passed, and in time, Akaashi could feel Bokuto relaxing against him, the signs of fatigue finally wearing him down. Akaashi stuffed the sheets into his bag. Akaashi tried to hide his frown. You shouldn't be-". Slowly, he reached a hand out and closed it over the twitching one, his four fingers fitting into Bokuto's palm. "I still miss it though. "I feel the same about this place, honestly." Why the hell did this have to happen to him? On the first night out of the three, Akaashi flat out refused to get any rest in fear of suffering another night terror. Another sigh was forced out, even heavier this time.